Wednesday, March 22, 2017

"No" Is a Complete Sentence

'NO' Is A Complete Sentence

Can you bring a cake to the meeting?  Can you take me home after [enter the event name]?  Can you stay late to work on this project for me?  Can you put some money in for [enter name]’s present?  Everyone has been asked one of these questions at least once in their lifetime.  The fact is, most of us are asked these questions several times per month.  When the request is without ulterior motives, we feel bad about saying no…so against our better judgment we tend to say yes. Next thing you know you are going the opposite direction of your house to drop someone off, dipping into your vacation money to contribute to someone’s present or even canceling on a friend to help out at work. 

When we become “yes” (wo)men to other people’s requests, we tend to say no to ourselves.  Going into your vacation money to contribute towards a present is saying to yourself “the much needed vacation I’ve planned for is less important than someone’s birthday.”  Cancelling on a friend is saying “work is more important than nurturing my friendship.”  The world teaches us that not helping someone, when you have the resources to help them, means you are selfish.  I would beg to differ.  Telling someone “no” doesn’t mean that you care about them less, it means that you are caring about yourself enough to take care of yourself first.  Let’s be honest, you can’t take care of someone else unless you’ve first taken care of yourself. 

Ever flown on a plane?  During the pre-flight demonstration they always tell you to place your oxygen mask on first BEFORE helping others.  Why?  Because should there be an emergency, by the time you’ve helped someone else, you may not know how (or be able) to help yourself.  If you take care of others before taking care of yourself you may be too burned out to take care of yourself.  There is a quote I absolutely love that says “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”  You can’t give, serve and help the way you want to if you haven’t taken care of yourself first.

So this week, make it a point to reinsert the word “no” into your vocabulary.  One last thing, “No” is a complete sentence and reasons for the “no” aren’t required. J

Until next time: Take care of yourself by resubmitting “no” into your vocabulary. 

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