Be Comfortable With You

Hey everybody, welcome to Say What Wednesday’s, the weekly segment that gives you little hacks in how to handle life’s challenges.

Once per year everyone is celebrated for getting older. When we are children, getting older was fun! It was about becoming a “big” person. In our 20’s getting older was about becoming “real” adults by taking care of ourselves and building relationships. In our 30’s the tides begin to change. Developmentally speaking, we become introspective and we begin to learn ourselves and either embrace our flaws or work to change them. This process isn’t easy and at times it is down-right hurtful, but I have three tips to help the process of becoming comfortable with being you.

Tip 1. Never compromise your values. When we are young, we are taught what we should value most.  Sometimes parents teach us to value hard work, authenticity, inner harmony or even money.  But as our minds cross over into adulthood, what we truly value becomes crystal clear. Take two minutes and make a list of your values, then star your top three. These are the three you will NEVER compromise because they make you who you are.  Yes, as we age our priorities may shift, but our values rarely change.  While getting comfortable with who you are, never compromise the values you hold important.

Tip 2. Comparisons: One of the biggest “Oh my gosh I’m 30!” crisis we have, comes when we compare ourselves to other people.  This is the ULTIMATE no-no.  Everyone in life has their own path to walk.  No one can walk your path and you can’t walk anyone else’s path.  The truth of the matter is, you don’t know what the other person had to do to get what they have!  And honestly, when faced with the same path they walked, you may not be as successful as they have.  Get comfortable with you! Comparing yourself with others prevents you from seeing just how awesome you are!

Tip 3. Guess what folks…It’s okay to change.  Most of the time we are holding on so tight to who we used to be in our “glory days,” that we fail to see that who we are becoming is sooooo much better than who we were.  So, to get comfortable with you, give yourself permission to change.  I guarantee you will come to a point in life (usually mid-30’s) where you are so comfortable with yourself that no one could pay you to go back in time.

Alright guys so never compromising your values, not comparing yourself to others and giving yourself permission to change are three very important practices to begin becoming comfortable with you.  There’s one thing I know for sure, God broke the mold when He made you! 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of Say What Wednesday’s.  forget to check me out on Instagram at Shrink Me _ Not, on Facebook at Shrink Me Not, & of course on my website Shrink Me Not.com. AND, if you missed an episode of Say What?!? Wednesday’s check out my Shrink Me Not YouTube page.  

Until next time, Take Care of Yourself!

Buzz Kill's

Hey everybody, welcome to Say What Wednesday’s, the weekly segment that gives you little hacks in how to handle life’s challenges.

Today’s topic is learning how to stay away from those people I call “buzz kills.”  What’s a buzz kill you ask?  Have you ever been full of positive energy?  You know the kind of mood where the birds are chirping, the grass is green, the sky is blue and even if none of those things are true and the sun isn’t shining outside, it’s shining in your heart.  You get the picture. So you’re in a great mood and ask someone how they are doing and all of the sudden they tell you everything that’s wrong with them.  Next thing you know your positively yellow warm and fuzzy feelings have dissipated and you’re left with their negative black cloud.  These people are who I call buzz kill’s.  They come around and kill everything positive! It’s okay to protect yourself and the energy around you from negative people and I’ve got three steps to help you.

1) Notice a potential buzz kill during the first few words they speak.  If someone starts off a conversation with “Things could be better” realize that there is a possibility of negative energy being transferred from them to you.  Instead of egging the person on to spill their feelings, stop the conversation in its tracks and change the topic. “I’m actually having a fantastic day, did you see the new episode of.” The conversation is quickly off of the negative and on the positive.

2) If you don’t catch the buzz kill in the first few words and they start motor mouth talking, listen while you make a mental grocery list, decide what you’re going to have for dinner or even remember something funny someone else said. Most people who “motor mouth” probably don’t want a conversation, they just want to get something off of their chest and it doesn’t matter who they are talking to. So, you just keep your mind busy with things that will help you maintain your warm and fuzzies while their negative energy bounces off of you.

3) Kindly dismiss yourself from the conversation.  They’ve talked long enough and now you’re over it. Give yourself an “out.” Not the “Oh my goodness, you’re being a buzz kill, I have to go!” kind of dismiss but a “Hey, I have a deadline that I have to meet but we can chat later” type of dismiss.  Be direct but diplomatic.

Remember folks, it’s up to you to protect your mood and your energy! I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of Say What Wednesday’s. If you’re in the DC area join me at my Master Class Series Workshops as learn how to navigate life’s challenges by using characters of the shows we love. In our next Master Class Series Workshop we will examine how to recalibrate your life using characters from the Issa Rae show Insecure.

Don’t forget to check me out on Instagram at Shrink Me _ Not, on Facebook at Shrink Me Not & as always on my website Shrink Me Not.com.

Until next time, Take Care of Yourself!